Can you believe it though? I am now at the age where you were when I first saw you. To think it has been six years and I'm still stuck here shows how pathetic I am. Why? Why can't I get over you? What was so damned special that you're still here, taking up space within me, when it could've been for someone else.
I failed at all my other relationships because I keep comparing them to you. I'm still looking for qualities of you in them, for God's sake, when I don't even know your full name.
Hell, I don't even know you.
You were interning when I met you. Did you continue working in that field? I went back to look for you but you've graduated. No one keeps records of interns anyway. You're just one of the thousands that were there for attachment. You'll be impossible to find.
How have you been? I hope you're doing well. Better than I am. I hope you still have that shy smile cause that was my favorite part about you. We didn't talk but we smiled a lot and that was enough.
My grandmother's gotten worse recently. You took care of her back then, how did you endure it? I am barely able to keep myself together when I come over to visit. You must have a lot of patience. That's good cause I have none.
Did you know that you were the one who pulled me out of whatever I was in back then? I kept thinking, I must get well and work hard to better myself so that he'll be proud of me when we meet. He'll be able to pat my head and tell me how I've grown up well. Delusional? I thought so too. However, I was ridiculous back then so I was able to convince myself of it.
Years later and I'm still delusional. I've got so many questions, so many things to talk about. About you, about me, about any thing and everything under the sun. But there's some things that I am so afraid of.
