I think I'm around people so much nowadays that I feel odd when there's more than one opinion and mine doesn't hold any weight anymore. I keep forgetting that the reason why things were so different a year ago was because I was the only one left to act as a foundation and they were dependent on me to make them happy, give them the light that was lost and stay sane because they were scrambling to keep theirs.
I took my importance for granted because I was not exactly the most important before. I was too independent to be of any importance. But now there's no need for my presence because I was temporary, a substitute for them till they come back. And now that they are back, I'm redundant.
I shouldn't be so hurt, now that I think about it. Before they left, I was able to be on my own. I didn't need anyone then, and I don't need anyone now. So why am I so affected by this? Where's the heartless, unemotional person that I was? Did I grow a heart?
Grow up, lynnie. They won't be with you in death so don't get attached.
