There's a certain tiredness that comes after crying. It saps a part of your energy that makes it so hard to function afterwards.
When you're holding back tears because you don't want to show your weakness, your chest will be left aching.
When you cry silent tears, the tracks made down your cheeks are left as race tracks, as a constant reminder that you're a race car driver spiraling down at high speed into the darkness.
When you cry heart wrenching sobs in someone's presence, you're left spent and satisfied.
When you cry heart wrenching sobs in the dark silence and you try to muffle your wails of pain with your sodden pillow, you feel a part of your soul gone and the rest of you battered and aching as your internal war dictates the champion and by your exhaustion, you've lost.
It's extremely tiring to cry. Especially when you can't let anyone else know.
I don't want to cry anymore. For it's especially worse when the person you're crying for doesn't care for the reason why you are.
