The switch on my emotions has been off for as long as I can remember. I don't remember the feelings I used to get when I'm upset, or 'depressed' even. I was the tough cookie who didn't cry, who didn't get sentimental, or emotional.
So, what happened today?
There's this undeniable clench that seemed very familiar and when I realised it, I started shaking, on the verge of a breakdown, tears, etc.
Mom smacked me (verbally) in the face today.
She made me see how I'm actually all alone. The people I have right now are leeching off my intelligence, taking advantage of my introversion and being absolutely of no value in my life.
See, I like the people I have right now but the douchebag side of me, who existed when I was 15 and got shut away when I turned 17, started to creep in and whisper to me things that sounded like the truth.
I was alone.
And that's not a problem. I like being alone but at times, it gets so lonely when you're the only one there. The only who understands you. The only one who can talk to you and receive satisfaction at the end of the conversation.
I think I'm going crazy. lol.
I've gotten used to having people around and now that I realise I have to let go, that douchebag side of me is giving me a standing ovation.
And I can't help but smile.
