"Why do you forget things so easily?"
I don't know, Mom. Everyone has their own defence/coping mechanism and that's just mine. I think.
Or is it a habit I won't be able to get rid of anytime soon?
I've been honing this... skill (?) for so many years, it comes as second nature. Whenever something bad happens, I can forget about it in the next hour or so. It used to take weeks, then days.
The downside of it though, I forget everything now. Things like class timings, class tests, dinner dates, outings, plans for the next day.
I write things down to remember but I would forget to check my planner.
"Can't you get rid of it? This, mechanism?"
I'm scared to. That's all I'm going to say.
What if I fix it and everything I don't want to remember comes back to me? Gushing in like it's trying to drown me?
I get flashes of things that had happened and I am left in a fetal position for the next couple of hours. And it's just freaking flashes.
Call me dramatic, I don't care. I refuse to be in that state again.
"I'm sorry."
I know.
Cause I am too.
