One of those days

The tiring frustration,

The dreadful feeling of wanting to cry,

The painful grinding of teeth,

The thoughts,

The thoughts,

The thoughts.

Ah, my head hurts.

Memory Span

"Why do you forget things so easily?"

I don't know, Mom. Everyone has their own defence/coping mechanism and that's just mine. I think.

Or is it a habit I won't be able to get rid of anytime soon?

Requirements to feel hurt

You are nearing sixty and your arms are hurting.

Working in the blue collar industry tires you out physically. Your body starts to ache, your muscles are not as good and your entire demeanor/appearance starts to change.

You complain, saying that you’re older now. All the creaks and cracks as your body protests unnerves you. You tell me I can’t understand. I’m too young. Make full use of my youth. Stop wasting it by napping every day and spending time cooped up by myself.

I am eighteen and everything hurts.

Introduction

I sometimes call myself the walking paradox. 

I am a living, breathing contradiction. I get confused as to what is right and what is wrong. Whether what I am feeling today is opposing to what I've felt last week. It's all a jumbled mess that I've learnt to live with. 

Is that a paradox or am I just bipolar?

Reasons why I get highly irritated by the way I write since the words, - my words - they don't complement each other. I switch moods and perceptions so fast, they affect my writing. And I'm here to fix that.

So watch me as I mull over my entire existence in an odd, complicated way.