A couple of nights ago, Nins and I were on the pavement, legs crossed and folded to our chests, eyes trained forward into bleak futures, our surrounding air filled with wisps of smoke spiraling out of our mouths and words of pained musings imbuing the humid air.
We were a couple of messed up girls in pajamas talking about our reality.
It feels so nice to know that you are not alone in your suffering. Our rickety paths may be different, but our thoughts on how fucked up everything is coincides.
We both have a mutual dislike for adults, ever since we knew each other five years ago.
I saw how teachers mistreat students who needed help and she saw how counselors truly messes with your mind.
It is so easy for them to say things, to suggest things, to advise things but so difficult to put themselves in a person's shoes and realise how challenging it is.
Why should they put themselves in a child's shoes? They no longer fit.
How high and mighty they are to dictate what we should feel. How arrogant they are to control our lives. How pathetic they are to stumble over their words when they notice how dire the situation is for us.
Irregardless of that, they all have the same underlying thoughts.
These kids are the screwed up youths of the future.
Friday, 8 September 2017
Workforce
Guess who is starting her attachment this Monday?
Das right.
Me.
Throughout this entire week preparing for myself for my internship (more so mentally), I find nervousness and anxiety overwhelming my excitement. There is no explanation for this.. fear.
And it is pissing me off.
Wai the fuck am I nervous? This is not rocket fucking science - Me to Nini
I took so long to email my Liaison Officer, twice as long to email my Company Supervisor.
I am definitely not prepared.
Probably because I have a classmate who will be my colleague and it makes me iffy? I never liked working with people I know. A sense of professionalism is gone because they know me personally.
There's also an incessant fear of messing up. Like, what if I cause losses for the company? What if they find me lacking compared to my classmate? What if I decide to shoot myself before I can even find out?
Ugh.
I need to pull myself together.
Das right.
Me.
Throughout this entire week preparing for myself for my internship (more so mentally), I find nervousness and anxiety overwhelming my excitement. There is no explanation for this.. fear.
And it is pissing me off.
Wai the fuck am I nervous? This is not rocket fucking science - Me to Nini
I took so long to email my Liaison Officer, twice as long to email my Company Supervisor.
I am definitely not prepared.
Probably because I have a classmate who will be my colleague and it makes me iffy? I never liked working with people I know. A sense of professionalism is gone because they know me personally.
There's also an incessant fear of messing up. Like, what if I cause losses for the company? What if they find me lacking compared to my classmate? What if I decide to shoot myself before I can even find out?
Ugh.
I need to pull myself together.
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